After Little Abigail had been eaten by the unicorn, her family was in tears.
“Oh, we never should have lied to our precious daughter. We should have just given her a tame unicorn so she wouldn’t have gone in the woods and encountered a barbaric one!” Abigail’s mother said.
“So true, so true.” Her father said. They didn’t know how they would have a funeral, since her body had been eaten whole (and possibly turned into manure). Suddenly, a sinister sound came from the cupboard. It was kind of like the sound of chugging down some water. Abigail’s dad peered inside the cupboard. And then he screamed.
Standing in front of him was a chipmunk drinking all their dish soap! His name was Pipsqueak IV. (If you read my Pipsqueak and the Bear story, you’d understand.)
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” He screamed. “That dish soap cost 4 thousand dollars because it came with golden shine!”
“Sorry, bubs. You buy it, I eat it. It’s the circle of life.” Pipsqueak IV said.
“I told you not to get the golden shine!” Mrs. Abigail said.
“Don’t blame me! Blame. . . blame umm. . . umm. . . ” He was looking around the room for objects to blame. “You know what? Blame that stupid dishwasher company. There were 7 carrats of gold in that dish soap.
“Albert! I thought you changed!” Abigail’s mother said. She stomped out of the room.
“Oh, chipmunk. Look where I’ve gotten myself now. This is just pointless! I mean, I have no daughter, no wife! What will I do? I’m a fool.”
“Why, yes you are! Extremely stupid. And my name’s Pipsqueak IV.”
“What? You just said it yourself. Anywho, you could maybe find the unicorn, and if your intentions are pure enough, you can force the unicorn to regurgetate Abigail,” the chipmunk explained.
“First off, EEEEEWWWWWW! And second, how exactly do you know this?”
“I had to do it to my cousin.”
“Hey pal. You have two descisions to make here. You could have your daughter back, or you could just have her lie in peace in a unicorn’s stomach. Trust me man, it would be wierd if someone asked you where Abigail was. You’d just have to say she got eaten by a unicorn,” Pipsqueak explained.
“Sheesh, man. Fine.”
“Woo-hoo! And can you get me some more of this dish soap?”
“NO!” Albert walked out of the house and slammed the door on Pipsqueak IV.
“Wait! I need to guide you! You don’t know the powers of barbaric unicorns!” Albert walked back in and groaned.
“Fine. Come along.” Pipsqueak IV and Albert walked out of the house with their minds filled with determination. Well, at least Albert’s was. Pipsqeak was just hungry. And filled with dish soap burps.
But this duo didn’t have too much time before Abigail got too far down in the digestion track.
It didn’t take long to find the unicorn. For goodness sake, she looked like she was pregnant! Albert wasn’t really sure what to do. Neither was the author. So Albert just asked Pipsqueak. But the author just had to deal with it.
“So what do I do, Pip, just ask nicely?”
“Duh. Of course not!”
“I was being sarcastic.”
“I don’t care. You have to reach into it’s mouth.” Now the unicorn was picking up on the conversation. So it ate Pipsqueak IV, just like his cousin, brother, sister, father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, and great grandfather. Exept for the part where they died.
Pipsqueak IV came out victorious with Abigail’s body. But they both looked like they had been dry cleaned in there! No spit or anything. But it was probably just because they just came out of a unicorn.
(chickenlover3 wrote a few paragraphs of this story.)